Due to the vast amount of stories to bring you from Key West, we are deviating from our normal procedure. The Coconut Modem will be sent in two parts, and everyone will receive the text version. This first part has the stories and memories of Key West and the cruise. The second part will have the type of news we normally feature.
Within a few days the GIF version will be sent to everyone who has signed up for it, and will be comprised entirely of the photographs taken on the trip. If you are on AOL and you want to sign up for the GIF version send your email request to Bob, (JBParrotHd).
Without further ado..........
"PHLOCKERS" ATTACK MARGARITAVILLE...........
Yes folks, that's how the headline reads in the June 30th edition of the Miami Herald. The AOL Keys/Cruz phlocking is now just a collection of warm memories, 90 jillion rolls of film, and lifelong friendships made. Oh, the stories we could tell, and will!
June 26 found myself, my husband Michael (TwistrOne), and Bob (JBParrotHd) meeting up at the Miami Airport. First round of hugs were dispensed with, and we hopped in our rental car, trying not to look like tourists, while Bob juggled a Miami map in one hand and got the Buffett CD's going with the other. Next stop Key Largo.
*Keys Travel Tip #1 - Avoid the Key Largo Travelodge, they were not Parrot friendly.
Then we contacted Shari (ParitHd) on her mobile phone, to find that they were within a mile of us. I watched from my hotel room door as that crazy van, with wonderful ParrotHead paintings pulled into the parking lot. More hugs with her, Scott (OPHarbour), and Jeff (Jeffw@ultranet.com). Then off to dinner, a late night swim, and hit the sack. We're going to Key West tomorrow!
The next morning we learned that Bill (Tanzer704) and Alan the Skipper (PARROTH295) had checked in during the night. More hugs, a quick posting to our friends on the board, and we were off.
*Keys Travel Tip #2 - Marathon Liquor in Marathon Key makes GREAT sandwiches!
Arrived in Key West early afternoon and met up with DIVR Bob (PirateDivr). Of course more hugs, this time poolside at the Tiki Bar.
*Keys Travel Tip #3 - The Southernmost Hotel is a great place for a phlocking. It's clean, attractive, Parrot friendly and the Tiki Bar at the pool became our home away from home.
Before imbibing in frozen concoctions, Bob and I decided that the first thing we needed to do was make a pilgrimage to the real Margaritaville Cafe, so we took a stroll down Duval Street. Having been a ParrotHead for many years now, but never having been to Key West, my senses were delighted by the sights, sounds and smells of this town. Duval, Caroline, Hogs Breath, Captain Tony's, all these things were so familiar to me, and I suddenly experienced that feeling of feelings..... Island Time.
And then we were there, Mecca, Margaritaville. We hit the store first and grinned and gazed at all the merchandise to warm a ParrotHeads heart. Then we had the pleasure of a meeting and a long chat with Marty (MargKW) who has been so helpful to the CM in the past. Bob bought me a rita in the Cafe, dropped a bunch of money in the store and we headed back to the hotel.
There is a phenomenon to this whole online thing that continues to amaze me. To finally meet in person someone you have known well online is a joy, especially when it's a fellow ParrotHead. No need for small talk, a shared history is already in place, and the jokes, laughter and hugs seem to flow effortlessly. Especially the hugs.
Tuesday afternoon is just a blur of hug memories as we greeted the latest arrivals...
That night we hit the streets of Key West for bar hopping, crawling, whatever worked:) We aren't exactly sure what bars we were in, although a pack of matches from "Barefoot Bob's", found in my pocket the next day proves that establishment was one of our victims. We separated and regrouped as we took over the town. There is a rumor that Marc (ParutHead) colored my, Donna's (A KeyLime) and Carolyn's (CorkyBinky) noses with pool chalk, and that we spent the rest of the night looking like smurf princess'. But we won't believe it until they prove it with pictures!
Wednesday we beached, shopped and drank in groups large and small, then got ready for an evening at the Margaritaville Cafe. What fun! Sue (CaribnSoul) started a conga line the likes of which I doubt even the Cafe has seen before! We were fortunate to catch the final performance of the group "Survivors" who were the featured act at the Cafe that night. They were great, and they extended the music on and on so the Conga line could continue. If the Survivors sounds familiar to you, it could be because they are featured on the Margaritaville Cafe-Late Night Menu CD.
I made a trip to the bathroom and on the way there stopped to look over the wall of pictures. The very first one that caught my eye was one of our own Mr Tequila (Norm). I laughed out loud. You really WERE there with us Norm!
Well, we then ventured out into the night to sample the other establishments, but Kevin (Wildcatt76) and I managed to make it back to the Cafe for a sentimental slow dance to "Steamer".
*Keys Travel Tip #4 - Don't believe any rumors that the Margaritaville Cafe is overpriced or too commercial. The food was good and reasonably priced, the service was excellent, and the management treated us wonderfully.
I believe Thursday was the day that the "Conch Republic Militia, ParrotHead Division" was born. A full story on this by Divr Bob follows, so I'll only comment that Key West will never be the same after the invasion by "Mom" and her "Boys".
That night we gathered in the Marina for a sunset cruise aboard the Wolf. We were thrilled to see that Bob and Martha (SurfImages) had survived their first meeting with us the night before, and had returned to join the fun.
And it was fun. We sipped beer and champagne and reveled in the beauty of the scenery and warmth of the companionship. For our entertainment was a guitar playing, harmonica blowing troubadour, who couldn't quite get all the words right. But that didn't matter, they were songs we all knew by heart, and we belted them out in 3/4 time, while dodging super soaker fire from the Conch Republic Militia, ParrotHead division.
*Keys Travel Tip #5 - Ladies, NEVER wear a gauze skirt on a sailing vessel!!
Friday morning dawned, and it was time for bitter sweet farewells to those who weren't continuing on to the cruise with us. {{{{{{{{{Jenn63, Marc, Sue, Corky, Alicia}}}}}}}}}}
Sail time!!!!! And the S.S. Dolphin IV prepares to be boarded by the pirates and princess of the Conch Republic Militia!!!
First order of business is to make sure everyone made it on board OK. Counting heads, 1,2,3. Wait a minute! Has anyone seen Robin and Matt? (Austyn), they made it? Good. What about Arlene? (MaknNoise) Did they let her on without having her cruise documents? There she is! OK, we're all here, all set to go.......except for..........WHERE'S DONNA??????? Not to worry, in true pirate princess fashion, Donna managed to be the last one on board, just as the gates were closed. Party time!!!!!
And time for more hugs with new arrivals! Robert (Went2Paris), Scott (SMTrinidad), Connie (ConnieW473), Nic (NIC BEACH), Dave and Nancy (ZPTDUDA), and John, ParitHd's other half, we finally meet after all this time! And there is Susan:) (LivnLife49), so good to hug you again!!
The next three days swirl, twirl and meld in my mind as a kaleidoscope of sights, sounds and emotions. But a few memories stand out........
Robert wins the price of his cruise in the Casino!....... I love it when someone wins, love it even more when they walk out of the Casino with it! I had ventured in to lose a few quarters in a slot machine when Robert coaxed me over to the roulette table. Being a novice at this game, I chose to just watch, but within a few minutes Robert talked me into picking numbers for him. I didn't know that it was so unusual for those numbers to come up on the roulette wheel, but as Robert started accumulating chips in front of him, I began to see that he was really winning. Then he gave me some chips and told me to play on my own. What fun!
Between that visit and his earlier luck in the Casino, Robert was richer by almost $300. I had $30 in my pocket that I didn't have before. Good show Robert!
Our favorite animals are now pigs........ Yeah, I know folks, in the past we were partial to cows in spandex, but the pigs have taken over. This clever little game was introduced by the wild, crazy and lovable Pirate, Barnacle Bill. It involves rolling little tiny pigs, in the same way you roll dice. Depending upon the way the pigs fall you rack up points. The loser has to drink. Donna loved this game. She always loses at games.
A night to be formal, and attend weddings........ This had to be the do all, dare all night of the cruise. What can I say about our pirates, except to say that I love them all. They suffered ties, shirts, jackets and even tuxedos, on a hot tropical night, just to give us ladies an evening, a memory, and most of all, a photo to cherish. I remember walking into the Captains Cocktail party. I let my eyes roam over the room, looking for our group. My vision drifted right past them, and I did a double take when I realized that that group to the left and the back of the room were really my friends. I didn't recognize these people! Princesses who glittered and shined in sequins, lame, basic black and sweet smiles. Pirates who dazzled and delighted, looking so handsome and dashing, and sharing a common goal to get out of the monkey suits as soon as possible!!!
Then off to a wonderful dinner, and afterwards, the part they all say is Karen's fault (I confess!), the photo opportunity! Everyone stand in line for the photographer, and when we finally make it, his eyes go round in horror and he exclaims! "There are too many of you! I'll meet you on deck."
Taking the photo on deck was fate's way of making it so much better. Because behind all our smiles was a beautiful view of the Nassau Harbour, just after sunset had kissed it with the soft and subtle colors of a Caribbean evening. These are the times that tropical dreams are made of.
OK Pirates! You can ditch the monkey suits now! Let's party!
And this brings us to.... THE WEDDING......... Jeff came along on this trip by the urging of his friend, OPHarbour. I doubt he knew what was in his future. Julie was on the ship with her family, she had never met any of us before. Regardless, the impossible happens. It's called romance..... Pirate style.
My first indication that anything was going on was when I was informed by one of our pirates (Was that you Catt???) ,that I was to be the guest at a wedding, and I was picked up, carried and deposited in the top bunk in a very small cabin. (Who's cabin was that anyway?). The next thing I knew the entire place was filled with at least 30 friends, and Jeff and Julie were on the bottom bunk.
Reverend Robert cleared his throat and the ceremony began. By my best recollection it started with..... "Dearly Beloved" and ended with.... "By the powers invested in me, by the Conch Republic Militia, ParrotHead Division, I now pronounce you man and wife"
The rest of the evening is Jeff and Julie's story to tell, or not tell, as they see fit. But I can tell you this. I heard from Julie today, and she said that she and Jeff had a wonderful few days in Miami, before he had to return to colder climates. As a matter of fact, they are planning on cashing in all of their frequent flyer miles in the near future. Viva La Romance!
I chose to exit at this point, princesses do need their rest! But was told that the party did not stop here.
Back at our favorite site by the pool, and minus Jeff and Julie, the Militia continued to party. It is my understanding that a conga line was started, by OP blowing on a conch shell, followed by Robert and Pepsi cans? They say it was a Kodak moment not to be missed. Guess I'll have to wait for the movie:)
Sunday dawns in the tropics......... It's our last full day on the trip. Some choose not to miss any of it. This editor chose to sleep till noon, and missed most of it:) Most of the group heads off to Blue Lagoon. Bob tells me that this was one of the most scenically beautiful parts of the entire trip. He described gorgeous beaches, water so clear you see to the bottom, and a bartender named Kendall that became almost like a brother (see Mr Tequila's Corner for story). But I think I have Bob pegged. He just liked this part of the trip because he finally got that pic of himself in a hammock that he wanted!
The last night and it's semi-formal....... The pirates got rid of the ties and jackets, and wore their best comfortable floral print attire. The Princesses either got out that last floral print knockout dress. or went more casual. It was a night for everyone catering to their own desires, a fitting end to the cruise.
If there was one common theme, it was that everyone was tired, on Island Time and had to have their luggage packed and in the hallway by 3 AM. 3AM? No problem! We are just getting started by that time of night, day, whatever!.
But first, a final last fling to the craziness of it all. The Male Lingerie Competition!!!!!!!...........
We have to hand it to these guys, folks! 5 Brave, fearless and totally STUPID pirates that believed our lies, promises and vows of not distributing pictures!
Here they are! They deserve your applause ( and condolences!)
The team of Bill and Marty!!!! Yes, our favorite pirate, Barnicle Bill (AARRR!), and Marty teamed up as a duo. Bill, thigh highs and garter belts never looked so good. And Marty? Did I ever tell you how sexy you look in cool blue silk?????
The team of Nic and Michael!!!!!! You two did great! Especially considering that you came up with your scenario 30 seconds before show time and didn't have to be pushed on-stage by your wives. (High 5 Donna!) Nic gets extra points for wearing a coconut bra and tropical shorts under his costume, and stripping down to those.
Robert! Don't let anyone tell you, you were the only one to be talked into makeup and high heels! You can blame Mom and Connie for that! We have pics, you signed release, we aren't responsible for your actions:)
Yeah, it was time for endings............
But since I'm the editor of this ParrotHead Rag, I can extend it just
one more drink.........It's the night before my return to harsh reality,
I.E. I return to work tomorrow, so I leave you with these thoughts and
recollections......
To WildCatt76... only you know how much I waited for those hugs in person.....
To Brad (Headhtr), Good job! , you surprised us all, especially me, and it was great to hug you again!
To my friend, the deviate stranger. Special hugs. You know who you are. Meeting you was a highlight of my week! And year:)
Someone told me Nita9 made it. I'm not sure..... {{{{{{{Nita}}}}}}}}}
{{{{}}}} to whatever individual coined the phrases of being invisible or small:) I salute you!
To the Conch Republic Militia!!!!!!!
To dancing dinner rolls!
To Scott the Bday boy, thanks for sharing your day with us.
To Robert, thanks for the invite to the Captain's party;)
To Michael (TwistrOne) thanks for understanding, thanks for becoming one of us. God help you:)
To small pigs rolled on tables!!!
To Marcs crazy antics, and a piggy-back ride down Duval Street!
To Bwana Bob's tie!
To Divr boB's tuxedo!
To Shari's dress!
To Arlene's dress!
To security guards who let Princesses take nightly swims when the pool is closed.
To Zippy humor, and to Nancy who let's him get away with it!
To the one time I spotted OP without a camera in his hand.
To lobsters promised by Divr friends:)
To CorkyBinkys. What would we do without them?
To the Skipper, and Gilligan too.
To Norm, who had a dream and made it happen for all for us........
To all of you.
To Jimmy.
To next year!!!!!!!!!!!
One final word..... We got email from Bob and Martha today... They stopped into the Cafe after we had left, and talked to bartender Billy. According to Billy, Wednesday nights have never been so lively since those crazy AOL computer people came to town. Indeed they were never so lively BEFORE we came to town! And according to Billy, the Cafe has NEVER seen a Conga line like we did:)
Jimmy??? I can't believe we have to teach you how to do gypsies in the palace:) :) :)
But if anyone has to use the bathroom, stop and browse the picture wall. I hear there is a copy of the June 30, Miami Herald, and it is autographed by the perpetrators. We were there!
Karen
REFLECTIONS ON KEY WEST............................by Corky Binky
For a week, I have been feeling the warmth that just won't leave my heart and the smile that just won' t leave my face. I've continued to laugh with all of you whom I met, and happily share with those of you who were with us only in spirit. And I've felt in my heart that this phlocking was so nourishing for a reason. We took a journey away from all of our obligations and cares, our responsibilities and worries. It was a journey to a place where we could simply enjoy being human beings on the planet, as the planet goes. It was a joyful journey to greet the "other me" that lives inside of each of us, perhaps a "me" that some of us hadn't seen in a long, long time. No wonder it was a journey that each of us was reluctant to end. But we all carry the warmth within us still. And, so, when the little things start to "pull you under," remember to "live your life filled with joy and wonder--" the wonder of friendship, the wonder of laughter, the wonder of hugs, the wonder of the "other me". Until the next phlocking....
Corky
(Editors note.... The previous article was submitted by a NON Buffett fan, who just wasted a week of her life to come meet all of us.......
Yeah, Right Sure Corky! We saw your feathers growing daily in Key West:) You loved it, and you are one of us now:)
THOUGHTS ON KEY WEST...........by ConnieW473
I labored over this piece for hours, agonizing over what to say.....what could I say to compare with the wonderful people and experiences I had while on the cruise??
So I finally decided nothing could compare. I could sit here describing the beautiful sunsets, smiles, laughter, moonlight, poolside serenades, and good times. But I won't.
For some of us, this cruise was a vacation, a time to escape our everyday lives. For me, it was an awakening. A time to rediscover the joy of living.
As some of you may know, I've been through a rough three years. During that time, I learned to separate myself from others...too scared of connecting with another person, afraid I would get hurt in the end. Being on the cruise, sharing good times with each one of you, helped me realize what I have been missing. To all my new friends, and one in particular, a gigantic thank-you. You helped me reach the top of the mountain again.
Even though we come from different parts of the world, different backgrounds, and lifestyles we share a kindred spirit-- a love of life.
I hope those good times never end.
Love to all,
ConnieW473
(I still need a Buffett screen name--open to suggestions)
THE BIRTH OF CONCH REPUBLIC MILITIA, PARROTHEAD DIVISION...... BY PIRATEDIVR......
It was a dark and stormy night........no, it was a sunny afternoon in Key West. (Yeah that's it). It was a sunny afternoon in Cayo Hueso when OPHarbour (Scott), Jeffw@ultranet.com, Tanzer704 (Barnacle Bill), Wilcatt76 (Kevin), Parroth295 (Skipper), and PirateDivr(boB), armed with Super Soakers piled into the AOL ParrotHead Madness van driven by Parithd (Shari) with plans for a PHun afternoon of drive-by squirtings. Believe me when I tell you NO tourist was safe from this van full of ParrotHead marauders.
After stops along the way to buy T-shirts and various beverages for invisibility, we finally stopped down at the dock where the Wolf was moored so we could all pre-pay our cruise for the nights festivities. While we were there it was decided that all of us would go and get our Conch Republic Passports as some of us had lost theirs over the years. After the pictures were taken we had about 30 minutes to kill, so a gun battle broke out on the pier. This battle was going on for some time when Tanzer704 spotted a likely candidate to add to his collection of BIG GIRL PANTIES. It turned out that she was a reporter from the Miami Herald and she started taking names and pictures (not knowing if we were in trouble, some alias' were given).
Well, about that time the Old Town Trolley came along and Wildcatt76 and I decided that we were still invisible and attacked the trolley with guns ablazin'. Needless to say some innocent bystanders were hit in the process. It was a blood bath but, we were INVISIBLE! From that point on Parithd (Shari) became mom and we became brothers. We are now known as the Conch Republic Militia, ParrotHead Division. If any of you non phlockers doubt this story please feel free to visit the Margaritaville Store and gaze upon the wall where story and pictures have been placed. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
PirateDivr (Divr Bob)
Commander
Conch Republic Militia
ParrotHead Division
MR TEQUILA'S CORNER.............
We let Norm have the month off from writing his column, so that we could turn it into a little birthday gift for our favorite bartender. Happy birthday Norm!!!!! (7/14)
As most of you know the entire recent AOL Keys/Cruz trip was originally Norms idea, and then work prevented him from joining us in person. But he was there in spirit! As a matter of fact, we all took every opportunity to toast our absent host, with a variety of concoctions to help us hang on. (Hey, tough work, but someone has to do it;).
On the last full day of the trip, a band of brave pirates and princess' of the "Conch Republic Militia, ParrotHead Division", set off in search for a tribute to our esteemed compatriot. Landing on Gilligan's Island (Blue Lagoon, Bahamas) they were besieged upon by a ferocious thunderstorm. Being the savvy militia that they are, they searched for shelter (a bar), where they met Kendall the bartender.
They returned triumphant with a recipe that even Mr Tequila would approve of. So drink it up Norm, this one's for you.
The Goombay Smash
Using a plastic gallon milk jug.
*Fill about an inch of the jug with Coconut Rum
*Add another inch of regular rum (Kendall used Bacardi white rum)
*2 large cans of pineapple juice (the kind no one buys anymore but you
can still find on the juice isle at the grocery store)
*Then Kendall topped off the jug with Orange Juice
** He also would serve the first one with a "floater" (a shot of Bacardi 151) on the top.
(There is also a strange rumor that one must wear a towel over one's head while drinking a Goombay Smash, but that is as of yet unconfirmed).
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